You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies lit up the world as I fell asleep
'Cause they'd fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere
You'd think me rude but I would just stand and stare

Chorus:
I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems

'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs from ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance
A foxtrot above my head
A sock hop beneath my bed
A disco ball is just hanging by a thread

[Repeat Chorus:]

When I fall asleep leave my door open just a crack
(Please take me away from here)
'Cause I feel like such an insomniac
(Please take me away from here)
Why do I tire of counting sheep
(Please take me away from here)
When I'm far too tired to fall asleep

To ten million fireflies
I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes
I got misty eyes as they said farewell
But I'll know where several are
If my dreams get real bizarre
'Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar

[Repeat Chorus:] (2x)

(I fall asleep)
I'd like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams

Fireflies by Owl City...

Yes..1 song that I grew to like very much haha... Been trying to delve into the meaning behind the lyrics and found that you should not think too much LOL...

Aussie has been a fun and tiring experience, what with heatwaves, sandstorms, thunderstorms and cold fronts..makes you wanna treasure singapore for having such a constant, never changing climate. Well...a little snow would be good here..*prays hard* Whether it was preparing the range for firing or clubbing in Adelaide, I will never forget those cherished memories we created..Thnks alot guys!! =D. The photos will forever be stored in facebook haha...

Actions form the past caused deep rifts, hope you can forgive me...

I am never good with actions or words, given my past, which henceforth has affected me greatly in dealing with relationship issues. Pardon me if I ever said anything to cause such a misunderstanding.

Great...2 more months left b4 the big ORD, but still have so much stuff going on that I simply cannot clear all the off days by next year. Will definately kena makan..but oh well...I just wanna leave army asap and start afresh haha..

Hope I can get a new com and hp soon cause both of them are getting really outdated.. Carnt get most prog to work and playing L4D2 on an old rig will not do justice anyway. (Finally got it to work on garena YAY!)

Changes...Are they worth it?

Somehow...there will be a point in your life where you start to question yourself about the things you do and the changes you are going through. For me, it has been a radical journey going through sec sch, jc and currently-NS...

You will ponder upon the changes in your character,whether or not it is the desired outcomes from your youth. I am not the person that I used to be, getting angry at the world..short tempered...agitated. I really wonder why did I turn out this way, or is it because of the demands of this post modern 21st century era...

The one thing I did learn is that there are many people that make this world go round..Giving in to every wish is not the way, so it has to come a compromise. I find it so hard that some people cannot realise their actions will seriously affect those around them. Simple words or actions will trigger a series of events that will shape one's character...

Just saw a few more episodes of gossip girl..and realised that this world is not perfect as it seems..even for the most "perfect" people. There are many sharks in this world that are willing to grab you by the throat and squeeze you dry. What can we do? Its all human nature..but we must not fall and stand up to these people. Nothing can let you down, you have to rely on yourself.

That is what I have learned about life as I was living through it for the past few years....but the picture cannot be as bleak as it seems..

I have to refer to 1 person here who has fallen recently and cannot come back up.. The world is not an oyster and there are some things that people do that will make you upset..angry...disappointed.. However, you cannot hold on to your grudges forever. You have to realise at some point that people will make mistakes and their apologies are even harder to formulate. Your whims and whines will not bring them back to who they are,and its even worse that you have changed your character completely...

Becoming nonchalant will only add to the grievance inside you... You have to learn to accept that he has made a mistake! Get on with life!! Get on with it!!! You becoming this whole other person does not mean that you have handled this situation already.. Someone is trying to make amends but you are just not listening..

Frankly...I also hate who you have become.. Continue like this and I can honestly say you cannot become my friend anymore.. You are too abrasive..too rash..too candour. So different from the person that you were once was... I seriously hate it and can't stand it..

I don't have the guts to tell you this face to face but I hope that this is carried as my wish and hope that it will be granted... You will learn to really forgive his simple mistakes and go back to who you were...the person who had the decency to care about some one's life..

A few more days and it will be Friday the 13th!! Such an ominous date for me to fly off for my last overseas exercise in the Aussie outback..41 degrees!!! How in the world can I survive at such a temperature...at least the very good thing is that we are staying in a hotel and that it is only a short duration of 2 weeks..Wish me luck! I really need this break...

Leavin you here with rihanna's new single- Russian Roulette, life is all about a gamble is it not?

A Huge Milestone!

070809: They Day I got my driving license!!! Such a lucky number and such a lucky day it was =D

Yes...every person's dream is to finally get a license to drive a car around. However I still lack the $$$ to own one...Well, at least the license can still be kept for life. To those that still have not passed yet...juz don't give up and drive SLOWER!! Come on, the test is to drive in the safest manner possible. Anything after is juz to be reckless haha!!

So a milestone in life is reached again..but it surely reminds me how fast I am ageing...Gonna turn 20!! Now my age already starts with a 2, transitioning from teen to adulthood. Wow...So old already...

Getting a license was really a worthwhile thing from all the pain and sweat to be a learner driver when the taxi uncles and foreign drivers behave like maniacs... Hope the car comes soon!!! (my b'day wish haha!! =D)

I was lucky in the sense that I ahd a tester that wanted to rush back for his kopi break LOL!! He juz took me on a short route outside Eunos that did not even consist of a U-turn. Furthermore..there were so many vehicles in the way and the road was wet from the rain. Accumulated a total of 16 points which is still not too bad..Haha =D Better not sit my car or it could be the last ride =x

A long awaited

Woah...its been like wat...close to 6 months since I last updated this blog. I read the previous entry and felt " since when was I that angsty?" Haha.. So much has changed in such a short span of time.

My father is now undergoing acupuncture and cupping sessions to ease the diabeties a little. Its quite hard for him to work such long hours to support the family but at least he is still going strong.

Mum is still highly addicted to her Korean dramas...dunno when the craze started though..perhaps it was with "Boys Over flowers"...hmmm... She is so hooked that she recently wanted me to buy the OST to the show..Says alot...

Nothing much more to say about NS...it not going anywhere better but for the time being.. it can't get any worse...what with the H1N1 flu going around..some of the measures taken by camp are certainly very ridiculous... The army is inefficient anyway LOL...

As for myself...I feel like an empty shell right now. Not surprising that NS can be a real brain drainer...everything seems to be done without a purpose. I feel like a lost wandering soul in search of the light at the end of the tunnel. Doesn't help when things aren't going ur way in terms of friendships.

I dunno whether the whole situation that started at the beginning of last year made a big impact on my character..but I know something inside me has changed. It made me realise that you cannot put everything into retrospective, or behind the curtain. Certain situations where you must really open up your heart to look at the big picture. What everyone around you is trying to do, that everything has a reason and the actions will have a big impact on others...

If your heart remains closed.. you will juz cloud yourself in anger, regret and fall into despair. You will never learn the lessons and carry on, shouldering a burden that is too great to bear. If only people can see the light, things will go back to normal, or even better than normal. That is why I tell myself this that you must always understand the bigger picture first before taking any actions...

Secondly, I find it harder and harder to believe in what I see at first sight anymore, not forgetting that bad judgement always spoils my actual intentions... Somtimes you feel that what you are doing is beneficial to the other party but in actual fact, is causing more harm. Now I must take a step back to evaluate all possible scenarios first, before taking any actions. Otherwise the consequences are...

I keep telling myself that I am not THE person that gives great advice but others seem to think otherwise.. I really dunno.. I better stop before more people get hurt...

I really really think that the whole situation has been really absurd... What started as a small spark escalated into a forest fire... The guilt of dropping the matchstick.. I still feel it until this day.. I really cannot forgive myself... I should not have told you the truth.. Maybe if you had found it out yourself, things would have been different from your perspective... I dunno but I have to take this guilt with me for the rest of my life...
If there is anything that I could or can do, I will definitely do it. I am lost for now.... I have never been a great keeper of secrets, so I had left a trail of regrets of mentioning it to people, thinking that I have done a good deed.. So mistaken am I.

Relations aren't going too well either.. I am not a desperate kid but when one lacked lustre and the other lacked courage...I am beginning to have doubts about myself. A soulmate is really what I want to brighten up my days a little, give me more meaning to life... but as luck and fate had it, it was all not meant to be. Should I pluck the courage again to start looking? Or wait for her to come? Given the circumstances I am in now..one seems as impossible as the other.

Haha a lazy sunday afternoon with nothing on the agenda leads to a long entry. At least my feelings are out. Have been downloading many torrents recently..owing to the new external HD I bought from the PC show. Trying to amass a collection while avoiding the authorities LOL...Movies, Games, TV series..etc.

Will be meeting the usual gang later to celebrate zk's belated B'day. I hope that all goes smoothly.. Don't wanna dread the circumstances and anything that could have happened. Don't want Murphy's Law happening today..do we... Day is turning rainy...

Finally leave you all with Built to Last by Melee..A fave of mine..Cheers to every1 =D

Anger management

Sighz... It has been a very long time since I had ever felt this frustrated... My feelings are in a jumble and I hope to set things right. Army, I believed, has really changed me for the worst, to the point that I harbour evil thoughts and intentions in my mind. It has made become very impatient and oblivious to people around me... so much so it leaves me angry most of the time too =x. Seriously not what I really wanna become..

Anger is such a complex emotion that I will never really comprehend. It arises mostly from the misunderstandings between 2 parties and many feelings I really cannot digest. I will feel even more confused if you become angry at me for practically no reason at all.. to the point my frustration just grows inside... It builds up and then brings me to my breaking point, which is to not care at all. Perhaps I am a very empathetic person so I get super easily affected by other people's emotions and how they are behaving towards me, so I get affected by sudden changes in moods very quickly. I seriously hate people who are cheery towards you in 1 min and turn their backs on you the next, without any explanations why... This is even more so if you a closer friend to me... I don't wish to feel this way but recent circumstances has led me to behave this way.

Totally detest my whole life now...

DRIVING LESSONS!!!

Yay!!! Today is a big milestone in my life as a human..I signed up for driving lessons!! Applied for school lessons and will start off with my BTT on the 9th of Feb..Carnt wait to start, just dont wanna end up as a Kerb-banger....Just wanna get my licence quick so I dont have to worry about it after studying in university..(May even be borrowing friend's car in the near future =p)

Moving on in life...we complete so many of our goals and aspirations that we overlook alot of things that just makes humanity going..Friendships & Relationships you have built over the years..Are they still gonna go strong forever??

I dont know what friendship constitutes to you but to me..it is something that you can treasure being in the company with as well as carry you forward in life. You may not need to know the person inside out, just so much that he understands you well enough to guide you through the tough days and lonely nights. On the surface it looks like a big brother or sister to you but deep down it really is gonna be something more...

Different people are made differently and a friend must be able to see that. It is achieving that compromising in-between that makes friends more special than strangers. We have to understand each other and the faults we have so we either desperately try to correct them or just do a simple give-and-take. If one way doesn't work than we have to do it the other. We really have to understand what a friend needs in order to fulfill himself so we try our best to fulfill it for them. Be it in the emotional sense or the material well-being, it has to be a selfless commitment. To be able to COMPROMISE is the key so that misunderstandings do not develop...

Now I can say its really up to you to pull him back up on his feet cause he has fallen and stumble alot of times trying to chase after you. Look back and realise all the concern for you is just to make sure your journey in life will be an easy one. Neither you nor I may ever understand him fully but at least try to open your heart to his world and realise what he cherishes. Be honest so that he does not feel misunderstood and lets the world close in on him

A great gift, so special that no one in this world shares the same gift to be able to console people...Be thankful you have it.. Although you feel underappreciated at least the world gains all the good from it. =D

As for me..nothing is more important in this world to me than to see friends enjoy the so little time we have in this world of ignorant wanderers...

Fire in the heart and home

Yikes...Just after the previous entry on new yr at about 7pm..A fire broke out in my house eeeeekkkk!!!!! It started from the oil lamp on the alter that suddenly burst into flames for no reason...because all the windows were closed so it couldn't have been the wind... Luckily I was still calm enough but poured water on it by mistake so the glass shattered... Thankfully I remenbered using powder that was much more effective and put out the fire in a few minutes..Sighz.. What a "great" way to start the new year...

Fate can be a very cruel or forgiving thing... If I had left the house on thursday...I wouldn't even have a roof over my head now cause I was the only person at home... However I never got to meet to clear the air... Strange... Wierd... FATE...

The truth is out.. my suspicion was half-right.. Felt.. Disappointed yes.. Regret yes... Still stuck now yes... It will definately take time to recover from it... As what a good friend would say..It is still better to be a close friend than to have none at all...

My apologies about any misunderstandings I had about you...Rumors are scary to that certain extent but I still feel the whole thing seems to be very wasted...

Don't worry though..my blessings are still with you to have moved on and found someone who would take good care of you...

Leave it at that..I will still hum my own heartbreak lullaby...=(

New yr? '09

HAPPY NEW YEAR '09!!!!

Haha...A new year has come and it brings alot of new beginnings. Hopefully all the garbage from 2008 will get left behind and the new year can be more promising.

Well...I just read on Yahoo! that having new year resolutions is very Very bad according to a study they have done.

Quote"Mind urged people not to make resolutions focusing on physical imperfections -- such as attempting to lose weight -- because they create a negative self image and lead to feelings of low self-esteem, hopelessness and even mild depression."

Fine...In order not to fall into depression this year, I shall not make any resolutions...=D

Spent the eve wif rim ying xy and sarah at katong karaoke session..as usual rim doesn't and will never open his mouth for fear of the gold block inside falling out... After that sarah had to leave early so we went to xy to spend a quiet new yr...playing Risk LOL.. First time I had ever done this and it was strange..but fun all the same..then had a bridge marathon for like 4 hrs 0.0

So now marks the beginning of the new yr...I wish to say it went all good but sadly it really did not..Apart from losing drastically in Risk...I feel forgotten... =(

How can you forget something this important to me... Maybe ur phone batt is flat...or you are now somewhere enjoying yourself..At least I hope you remember and do not know how to contact me...otherwise...I really do not know whether to be angry at myself or you...Frustration just becoz I was a moment too late is something that I can never forgive myself for the rest of my life...I have made alot of bad choices in my life already... I carn't stand the regret of another one...

The silly operator...

Yikes...been like almost half a year already since i last posted haha.... Alot has happened over such a long period of time... Some good, Some bad...

It was a hell of a course to be an air defence operator...we suffered thru many many weeks of hell... 17 to be exact... The freedom we gt from it is refreshing at first...but now its getting stale

Too long of a time in freedom makes one bored...SUPER DUPER bored..Even a PSP can't save me now...much less that i must spend 1 yr and 3 months more!!! So much saikang...too much incompetency for my liking...

I am very glad that we are still in contact together the usual gang...though it has become fragile recently...We still did managed to pull thru..Settle some of the differences..

Watched Quantum of Solace today at tm wif the choir guys...nvr seen them in so long..Still the same as ever..=D Confusing storyline totally...all action but no logic leading to the next event...I was lost to the point of falling asleep..=p

Madagascar 2 watched wif david and xiang yu over at vivo aft the RSAF 4oth aniversary at sentosa..much cuter but nt as nice as the first one..still had alot of funny moments though.."The rest have white bodies wif black stripes but you have a black body wif white stripes!!" Haha...

*RANTS*: Some people juz irritate me to the boiling point...I hardly get angry with people..but this one of the times I am... Its ok to me that what u did was unintentional...but wat is nt is that u did not even apologise!!! Apart from that...you expect everyone to do things for you but you don't even take the initiative to do it!! Your LOUD mouth makes it even worse!! Thinking that the whole world revolves around you won't make you any frenz...seriously... Although you will never read this... I seriously hope something does get into ur head and that u wake up ur idea...I do not wish to quarrel with u...simply becoz u piss me off... BUT PLEASE STOP BEING SO SELF-CENTRED!!! Argh... If i want my 1 yr plus life in the army to go well...i juz wish u can change for the better....

BMTC!!! SUX!!!! BUDDIES!!!! COOL!!!!!

UPDATE UPDATE!! So long since I have touched this muz remove all the dust already LOL!!

OMG....the past 2 months have been the most pang sai, lao sai, chi sai period of my entire life. Seriously when you are a blur cock lyke me, army life can be really hell!!! It adds on to the prob that I did not exercise much at all before going in so suffer lor..

Everything you do in there really muz suck thumb and juz do and I learnt it all the things the hard way....

First person to have ever stabbed himself wif the bayonet exposed part...carnt forget that coz the blood was lyke dripping everywhere and it was juz b4 field camp!!! =((( It was so shocking for me and the rest of the people that saw my hand before it was bandaged up hehe. Dun worry ppl coz it is only the thumb I stabbed lol.

Toking abt field camp....the most horrible part was sleeping in a half-dug shelscript that has stones everywhere inside...and horrors of horrors...A BETTLE NEST. Not those small ones mind you...they are those big BIG ones..keep on crawling around me the whole nite ewww!!!! Then suay suay kena rifle stunned by PC...=(( At least juz punish abit and I did my guard duty on SIT test outfield so not so bad..(Pity those that nid to go back to tekong to do...). However I muz say field camp is really an experience I will never ever forget..from firing blanks in fire movement and proning in front of an ANTHILL!!! Urban ops was oso quite fun to storm the room but very mah farn to rmb all the steps involved... Oh yar..and how could I ever foget the TACTICAL ROUTE RUN for 4KM IN SBO!!! So shag la after that...suppose to walk one but gt ppl break contact so in the end everyone had to run run RUN!!! Outfield rations mostly are edible which is quite surprising as ppl say they taste lyke vomit LOL...always look forward to desserts haha.. One very serious problem I had as nite blindness which was seriously seriously bad coz I carnt evn make out the shadows of the palm trees...and my bud Dom still had the cheek to lead me round in circles!! GRR!! (Haha had the payback on last day of POP alrdy =p)

Another outfield which I had a bad bad experience was during SIT test!! Fast march was seriously %^#@$@%* for 4km....Seriously..the instructors for the Sit test really nid to get a life!!(IC how!! WAT THE F**K YOU DOING!! YOUR MEN ARE STANDING AROUND DOING NOTHING!!!YOU DONT F**K AROUND WIF ME CAN AND F**KING WASTE MY TIME!!) EEkssss.....only those enthu kia hu knows wat they are doing wont panic in times lyke that..As expected I failed in the mission coz I had no FREAKING idea wat the objective was and no idea at all how to build structures of any kind since my brain was almost dead alrdy from all the jungle bashing!!! Stupid sgt oso dunno how to walk straight to the location haha. Platoon sgt Issac always seems lost and does not know where he is going....but its most lykely purposely wan...

Live grenade throwing is oso and damn scary experience...whoever that say he nt nervous when holding the real grenade b4 throwing muz seriously be joking!! Lucky PC was there and he calm ppl down la..( He oso dun wanna get bombed LOL!!) But the bloody safety pin was so difficult to pull...and it didnt help that my hands were trembling...=xx I threw the grenade and it didnt land very far coz when I got up...the smoke billowed into my face haha..PC scolded me for throwing so near the bay haha but can see that it is very very safe...unless you throw into the bay la...but the shockwave and experience of it was super fun but its over alrdy as we only throw 1 live grenade in the entire army life =((

Live range is 1 whole other thing as I do not like the idea of holding a weapon.. much less a weapon that can kill!!! Even worse is the live rounds loaded inside as I have the irrational fear of misfiring the weapon lor...It did not went smoothly as my rifle IA alot alot of times so its a miricle I can still pass haha. Horrible experience as the afternoon sun was damn hot during the day shoot so feel very very uncomfortable...=((

Route marches is super stupid oso coz we have tonners!!! I dun see the point in marching 24km!!..unless we in m'sia la where there are not enuf roads LOL!!! The field pack is bloody heavy and bound to get alot of blisters and abrasions...Lucky gt dexter and gang along the way to come up wif all the silly songs to pass time which really helps haha =DDD The last route march at 24km was a super killer and plz PLZ PLZ!!! dun put me in a unit that needs to do route march again!!!

After the hell we go thru in 2 months...I really appreciate the toilet, my bed , my aircon, clean clothes, and most inportantly CIVIL LIFE!!!! haha...A BIG BIG THANK YOU TO:

My buddy..though silly you may be have helped me cope wif the 2 months =DDD (Thanks PORN STAR!!),

My section mates who see me struggling to wear my clothes in time and helped me look after my rifle!! Jia Ming who encourages me to ditch the IPPT retest, Paul wif his never ending supply of medicated oil for rubbing kiwi stains, Yi Long for ur strange take on girls,Jian Ming who ,managed to SIT UP den demoralise us wif ur IPPT results..(Kidding la.) Kong for you fighting to get the shiniest boots(which I dun tink I paid the $1 to anyone), Dixon the champ in rilfe striping, Jih huan for being like me in the quiet sense but open up in the end, Kessler hu is our bunk insect catcher cum imitation king cum shiok durian ice cream maker, Yong Sheng hu helped me dealt wif strange issues =x, Greg for helping our sect to take food coz Khaartik always goes missing and always say "Its time to leave guys!!!We left 5 mins!!!", and last but not least Khaartik for being the only Indian in our platoon and be the centre of all racist jokes but still take them lyke a man haha!!

Platoon mates who either kindly tell me I hav camo on my face or scold me coz my dust cover not closed LOL!!

Sgt Arshad for bearing wif the likes of ppl lyke me who stab themselves wif the bayonet and cannot tell which way you face as I carnt really hear ur commands OOPS!! At least you taught us all the necessary skills to survive and learn how to powder bath!! Best sect comm coz you are the only sect comm I hav so far haha

Sgt Salleh,Kian Peng and Mr.(Cpl) Thong for guiding me all the way in terms of IA drills, shelscript digging, the one time I gotten Att C WOOTS!!, foot drills etc. Hopefully you will never meet another recruit like me again or it will be headache..

PS for calling me Disproportionate body to which I have no idea why...PC for tahan such a nervous wreck like me in everything I do

Thanks to all the ppl I left out including medics, PTI and instructors who led me thru the 2 months in surefire hell on the island my mum calls " Resort @ TEKONG" LOL!!

In the end...it was all worth it as we managed to whack everyone that made life hell for us during POP!!

My dad putting on my jock cap =DD

Me and my mummy!! =DD

POP Lo!!! YES!! No more BMTC!!!

Me and Porn star Dominic!! (Suck c**k buddy=DDD)

My Sect mates act cool nia...=p (My face not in coz I was wif the other 3 and dog =x)

Overall, I was glad that all is over..though I may not be going to command sch anymore since my IPPT, SOC and SIT test bound to fail...I miss everyone in zulu coy plt 2..thanks alot guys!! Hopefully we will meet again in the near future!!! =DDD

Tml havin gathering wif us usual again..coming my hse to watch narnia and kungfu panda!!!(Too bad I watched both alrdy...hehe) Den tratin mum and dad to dinner coz I missed both their special days haha

Seriously...I may juz be as confounded as you are...You said no but now like you said yes...We need to tok..=(

The holidays are coming to an end...=(

Haha...so long already but I still havent blog *brag* about my A levels hehe. I was so nervous when I was collecting it, so when my name appeared on the slide I was super duper excited!! =D

Better than expected results with GP B and the rest with A's YAY!!!!! For all those who did not do too well.."The bleakest moments in life are juz the cornerstones to guide you on the right path!" =DD

Since then I have alredy been on 2 holidays!! 1 going to bintan wif my parents and my aunts uncles and cousins haha.. Had a wonderful and relaxing time there enjoying the swimming, the serene beaches, and not forgetting all the makan we had haha!! Only go there to EAT, PLAY and SLEEP LOL!! Oh yar was oso the first time I actually jet skiied!!! WEE!! So much fun lor with the waves splashing in to the face ( Nice driving ar fabian!! =DDD) The only bad thing was I got severe severe sunburn and my skin exfoliated!! =((

Haha the other holiday was a short trip to genting wif vis ky linda and peg..Had a wonderful time there really....First nite went to shop and play pool there ( NEVER EVER EAT KENNY ROGERS!!!! SO NOT WORTH THE $$$$) Bought a belt for RM$15..felt abit scammed coz I rmb seeing a cheaper one sumwhere... Second day was the whole day at the theme park played almost everything(thank god for the gd weather) including my fave space shot haha..At least this time round get to see the whole of genting before coming down LOL!! Too bad it rained in the late aft and evening so cannot play anymore le.... OH ya... Sum1 here is super duper afraid of taking the monorail, cable car, ferris wheel...anything that moves slowly and is 2 stories high LOL!!! ( I shall be nice and not name hu...=D) Third day we ate dim sum for breakfast haha and the person had to conquer his fear of the cable car HAHA!! Literally grabbing the main pole all the way down haha...After that is was check out and back to the bus for a home sweet home journey..( Sum ppl oso are pigs to sleep almost all the way...=x)

(So farni...now u know hu le...hehehe =D)
(Me, Peg, Linda, I don't know hu this guy/girl is, Dog)

Haha..but thanks anyway for the wonderful holiday before we enter army!!! =xxxx Sweet Memories~~~

Finally!!! Today is the last day working!!YAY!!! I really pity linda and peg coz they have to handle so many kids!! Yikes...

Going in on April 11th...a few weeks more..ARGH!!! So nervous...=xxxxx My physical condition now oso kns la....die....Don't miss me ar!!! =pppppp

D-Day

OMG!!!!

It will be 3hrs and 20mins more before the A Level results are announced...=x

I carnt stand sitting there for half an hr to hear ms lai's speech or announing who did very well leh....Makes me even more nervous again...Hope today the microphone spoils and they have no choice but to give the results out straight away..=p

I have thought it thru over the past few days and think that if I did not do very well...I would pursue my career as a tour guide LOL...I had always wanted to travel the world...=D

The sianz part is all the courses I intend to pursue are sure to be super duper competitive like pharm chem and bio science.....Got a feeling that w/o straight A's..some courses really cannot make it..bummer...

Well..better not think too much for now...I slept quite ok last nite which usually is not a good sign....Aniwae all the best to everyone!!!

Confusion

I am possibly being dumb by typing this out but I am confused...

You may have given me one answer before...

But now you are giving me another answer again....

Yesterday we the tuition jin gang wif kiatyun and rong juan were at ky' hse to make jello-cheese tarts...=D

I got out of bed at 9 in the morning...walked to ky hse....only to find out...the meeting time changed to 1 pm!!!! Sianz....haha dun wry la linda nt ur fault..So we ended up playing dota wif ai map...(so dotz...-___-")waiting for the rest to come...

Went to meet the rest at mrt abt 1pm...sure enough...the tension was so thick that you can cut thru it with a knife...=x

Went to ky's hse to officially start baking...slack slack...and stuff...den at abt 4pm went down to bball haha...

After which settle of wat's left and went to changi village for dinner!! Haha the chicken chop hor fun damn nice!!=DDDD Went to changi beach at nite which was a big mistake...coz it realli was so ccccoooollldddd!!! LOL...

After tokin and tokin...every1 juz balek kampong...=D

Today slack at home the whole day again....felt abit guilty coz I could not wake up to go my cous hse to help her unpack stuff..

Went to my grandaunt place for dinner...her nasi lemak is SOOO much better than the ones you eat outside lor...summore so many dishes haha!!! Outside buy definately has to more than $5..

Now me feels very full....

At least its semi-over...what a relief....=x

My hair growing white...

Inoocence...innocence...all I need now is the innocence...The complexities of relationships is really going to lead me to a very despairing situation..

One episode has ended and another has cropped up again...WHEN WILL IT EVER STOP...

The one thing I have always hated....is that I witness my close friends quarreling ...be only a third party standing there and can do nothing to help

Sure they say time will heal all wounds...but will the wounds ever completely heal??

This plus alot of other worries in my stupid job and A level results makes it a whole lot worse...

I dunno whether to answer a yes or a no...I thought you had already given me the answer...Maybe I am thinking too much and we are just the best of friends...

My hair will grow white soon...=(

Help....

BORED!!!!

One very simple word to describe now....BORED!!!

So drastcally bored is life now.....that I feel lyke it has no meaning anymore

Sure giving tuition is an enjoyable experience becoz of all the lovely kids...But Ala seems to such a kill joy...it would have been more more fun w/o her la....She breathes down our necks whenever we teach...Makes us feel lyke we have absolutely no space!!

I seriously seriously miss sch life....Sounds lyke I am crazy but the stress is seriously much less..Working is so routine that I wanna die le...

Hopefully this is not made up again but A levels may be released tis fri le...I feel very worried la..coz all the major exams I seem to really screw up very badly...

The only reclusion I can find is the ppl workin wif me....vis, peggy, linda and.....I forgot hu le.....oops....izzit jessica, BOBO or some other person...dunno la...but its still fun working with friends..=D

Some ppl oso complain their name nt here...so sry to hav neglected them but they make very very gd msn toking buddies LOL!!...Namely the BOBO and the one lobbed wif orange peels hehe =DD

Inner temperment is scary as the pain in my hand now...my avenue of stress relief is strange..I myself feel so strange...=x

CHINESE NEW YR OF THE RAT

Haha....the time of the yr has come again =D

HAPPY CNY PPL!!! This yr is the rat yr which means we muz all act lyke rats....=x

However...this yr I very sad....coz my mum is away on holiday in bintan...my dad will be workin on most of the days...so it will be pretty boring staying at home...

Firstly...CNY reunion wif my ah ma is considered quite sad....coz the dinner supposed to start at the restaurant at 730...however....they messed up our tables...put us next to the smoking corner!!!! Sianz la...coz I really hate smoke...my parents carnt stand it eiter....my da shu lost his temper again LOL....raised voice wif the staff...Well should be ok since the first dish took 1 HOUR TO SERVE!!!! We only started to eat at 8:30pm lar.....grr....That's nt all they took abt 10 mins interval between each dish!!! So by the time we finish eating was alrdy 10 pm!!! Took some pics haha but haven gotten them from my xiao shu yet...Finally a pic wif the entire family LOL..

Next day lunch was spent at my ah ma hse again...called delivery of canadian pizza, satay and KFC haha...too lazy to cook alrdy lol....summore ah ma quite old alrdy....quite intresting to see how every1 has changed in 1 yr....LOL..

Today was slack slack at home....woke up at 745 actually wanted to pei zk go joggin but he overslept....LAZY PIG =D So at home until evening them go my ma kor that side...played BINGO!!! LOL...I lost 10cents...my dad lost $2 haha all gt bad luck....Den dinner was KFC again....eekk....becoming more unhealthy....den my cous all went home....now I am stuck here am so bored again...

Tml goin to all the SSG ppl houses to bai nian lol....at least there is compensation there hehe!!!

Sunday will be steamboat at meimei hse wif mum in law, sis in law and dog LOL....(Dun ask me how the names actually came abt....)

Den is back to horrible work on MONDAY AGAIN!!! AHHHH!!!

Depressing children.....

HELP ME GET OUT!!!!!

Argh!!!.....stupid job which I should not have taken in the first place!!! I thought that tuition would mean to solely teach the children only....not do any saikang!!!! Nor do I actually nid someone who yaks and yaks and be bitchy about every little nitty gritty stuff that we do...How can I have any personal space to teach!! And seriously...$40 a day for tuition is simply exploitation!!!!! And seriously your son is so out of control can!?!?!? Scolding does not work from a tuition teacher...it takes a real mother!!! No matter how firm we are with them....do u tink they listen???

Aparrently...one look and I can tell that Leo is apparantly worked to death!!! He is always so tired la!! Still dunwan to giv break!! Sheez....

I hate the way my stupid life is going now!! I feel lyke pulling hair everyday.....it seems that I have hair fall problem alrdy....

Seriously....if it were me...I would nvr want to send my pri 3 kid to tuition...they are still so young!!! HOW in the world do u expect them to have an attention span of 4 hrs!!! Summore is straight aft sch....they will want an escape from the lessons....nt hav MORE!!!

Seriously...if dav linda and peggy wants to quit I would wanna quit too...and please I realli dunwan to teach alrdy and go into hiatus until aft army.... =(((((

Turn quick or be gone quick

Only barely 24 hrs ago I was feeling so frustrated....but now I had seen the reasons and feel so liberated...=D

Thanks for such a wonderful day today..=D=D=D

Although we both know it is not possible between us...may u and I find wat we are looking for soon..or else...later....=D

At least u saw an elightenment from some divine intervention LOL...I dun have to suffer anymore...

The world works in such miraculous ways...I always wonder....

Save me now!

OMG!!!.......I have never felt this worried...confused...angry....sad...hurt....in my entire life...It really is a cascade of emotions...it is overwhleming me to the point that I feel lyke giving up...I am physically and emotionally very very drained....

One thing I hate the most is someone taking severe pity on me...to the point where my feelings are cheated....

Another thing I hate the most is when I see friends have disgruntle feelings towards one another due to many misunderstandings.....Some of them caused by me...

I hate the big mouth I have to have uttered nonsense....Nonsense which caused people to get all the wrong ideas....

If you must know....wat u said has really hurt me....I did not know you were this kind of person...or else you have not made up your mind....or maybe you are too bounded by too many restrictions....or you did not act upon yourself....I will never know....becoz...I dunno how to face u again....

I hope that you will get thru this soon....I will explain everything to you....the other person has no fault in this whole thing....I realised I have said all the wrong things...dun be upset anymore.....I am spoiling it so much further for u.....I am so guilty today...and perhaps for the rest of my life....

As people slowly fade away....life has changed so much for me.....never for the better...only for worse.....what happened to the old life I had.....To tell u the truth....I would be so glad if we are back in a classroom....

So many complications in my life....How I wish to escape the situation....GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!

A new phase

Finally....blogspot allows me to blog again..LOL! Otherwise it takes a million yrs juz to load the edit screen...

Well....Its alrdy the 5th Jan in 2oo8...so nt used to nt going back to sch..haha imagine if u are alrdy doing it for 15 yrs of ur life..including kindergarden..I feel so old now..and one very big gripe I have is..HOW EXP TRANSPORT NOW IS!!!

Its lyke a big jump from 45c to $1 plus....Grrr.....seriously...they carnt make it any cheaper!!

The start of the this New Yr was spent in the midst of the huge crowd at Esplanade..the fireworks was a short display of bursts of lights..but they somehow giv this magical feeling...cannot be explained here in words but fireworks hav always enthralled me since young...the myriad of colours seem to bring hope =D

I carnt wait to get over 2oo7...esp Dec since it has been an upside-down month for me...so hope that all the fortunes will change!! Funny thing is u will nvr expect wat surprises th new yr mite bring..I juz wish it will be fufilling and all since this yr is gonna be very very very different...Wat wif NS...dreading...sorta...

Wish everyone a fruitful yr ahead wif all that they had dream for will come true!! =DDD

I have nvr made a resolution coz I noe in the end it does nt ever work for me.....hehe..I hope the past has been thrown away behind me...