Sighz... It has been a very long time since I had ever felt this frustrated... My feelings are in a jumble and I hope to set things right. Army, I believed, has really changed me for the worst, to the point that I harbour evil thoughts and intentions in my mind. It has made become very impatient and oblivious to people around me... so much so it leaves me angry most of the time too =x. Seriously not what I really wanna become..
Anger is such a complex emotion that I will never really comprehend. It arises mostly from the misunderstandings between 2 parties and many feelings I really cannot digest. I will feel even more confused if you become angry at me for practically no reason at all.. to the point my frustration just grows inside... It builds up and then brings me to my breaking point, which is to not care at all. Perhaps I am a very empathetic person so I get super easily affected by other people's emotions and how they are behaving towards me, so I get affected by sudden changes in moods very quickly. I seriously hate people who are cheery towards you in 1 min and turn their backs on you the next, without any explanations why... This is even more so if you a closer friend to me... I don't wish to feel this way but recent circumstances has led me to behave this way.
Totally detest my whole life now...
Friday, January 23, 2009
Sunday, January 04, 2009
DRIVING LESSONS!!!
Yay!!! Today is a big milestone in my life as a human..I signed up for driving lessons!! Applied for school lessons and will start off with my BTT on the 9th of Feb..Carnt wait to start, just dont wanna end up as a Kerb-banger....Just wanna get my licence quick so I dont have to worry about it after studying in university..(May even be borrowing friend's car in the near future =p)
Moving on in life...we complete so many of our goals and aspirations that we overlook alot of things that just makes humanity going..Friendships & Relationships you have built over the years..Are they still gonna go strong forever??
I dont know what friendship constitutes to you but to me..it is something that you can treasure being in the company with as well as carry you forward in life. You may not need to know the person inside out, just so much that he understands you well enough to guide you through the tough days and lonely nights. On the surface it looks like a big brother or sister to you but deep down it really is gonna be something more...
Different people are made differently and a friend must be able to see that. It is achieving that compromising in-between that makes friends more special than strangers. We have to understand each other and the faults we have so we either desperately try to correct them or just do a simple give-and-take. If one way doesn't work than we have to do it the other. We really have to understand what a friend needs in order to fulfill himself so we try our best to fulfill it for them. Be it in the emotional sense or the material well-being, it has to be a selfless commitment. To be able to COMPROMISE is the key so that misunderstandings do not develop...
Now I can say its really up to you to pull him back up on his feet cause he has fallen and stumble alot of times trying to chase after you. Look back and realise all the concern for you is just to make sure your journey in life will be an easy one. Neither you nor I may ever understand him fully but at least try to open your heart to his world and realise what he cherishes. Be honest so that he does not feel misunderstood and lets the world close in on him
A great gift, so special that no one in this world shares the same gift to be able to console people...Be thankful you have it.. Although you feel underappreciated at least the world gains all the good from it. =D
As for me..nothing is more important in this world to me than to see friends enjoy the so little time we have in this world of ignorant wanderers...
Moving on in life...we complete so many of our goals and aspirations that we overlook alot of things that just makes humanity going..Friendships & Relationships you have built over the years..Are they still gonna go strong forever??
I dont know what friendship constitutes to you but to me..it is something that you can treasure being in the company with as well as carry you forward in life. You may not need to know the person inside out, just so much that he understands you well enough to guide you through the tough days and lonely nights. On the surface it looks like a big brother or sister to you but deep down it really is gonna be something more...
Different people are made differently and a friend must be able to see that. It is achieving that compromising in-between that makes friends more special than strangers. We have to understand each other and the faults we have so we either desperately try to correct them or just do a simple give-and-take. If one way doesn't work than we have to do it the other. We really have to understand what a friend needs in order to fulfill himself so we try our best to fulfill it for them. Be it in the emotional sense or the material well-being, it has to be a selfless commitment. To be able to COMPROMISE is the key so that misunderstandings do not develop...
Now I can say its really up to you to pull him back up on his feet cause he has fallen and stumble alot of times trying to chase after you. Look back and realise all the concern for you is just to make sure your journey in life will be an easy one. Neither you nor I may ever understand him fully but at least try to open your heart to his world and realise what he cherishes. Be honest so that he does not feel misunderstood and lets the world close in on him
A great gift, so special that no one in this world shares the same gift to be able to console people...Be thankful you have it.. Although you feel underappreciated at least the world gains all the good from it. =D
As for me..nothing is more important in this world to me than to see friends enjoy the so little time we have in this world of ignorant wanderers...
Friday, January 02, 2009
Fire in the heart and home
Yikes...Just after the previous entry on new yr at about 7pm..A fire broke out in my house eeeeekkkk!!!!! It started from the oil lamp on the alter that suddenly burst into flames for no reason...because all the windows were closed so it couldn't have been the wind... Luckily I was still calm enough but poured water on it by mistake so the glass shattered... Thankfully I remenbered using powder that was much more effective and put out the fire in a few minutes..Sighz.. What a "great" way to start the new year...
Fate can be a very cruel or forgiving thing... If I had left the house on thursday...I wouldn't even have a roof over my head now cause I was the only person at home... However I never got to meet to clear the air... Strange... Wierd... FATE...
The truth is out.. my suspicion was half-right.. Felt.. Disappointed yes.. Regret yes... Still stuck now yes... It will definately take time to recover from it... As what a good friend would say..It is still better to be a close friend than to have none at all...
My apologies about any misunderstandings I had about you...Rumors are scary to that certain extent but I still feel the whole thing seems to be very wasted...
Don't worry though..my blessings are still with you to have moved on and found someone who would take good care of you...
Leave it at that..I will still hum my own heartbreak lullaby...=(
Fate can be a very cruel or forgiving thing... If I had left the house on thursday...I wouldn't even have a roof over my head now cause I was the only person at home... However I never got to meet to clear the air... Strange... Wierd... FATE...
The truth is out.. my suspicion was half-right.. Felt.. Disappointed yes.. Regret yes... Still stuck now yes... It will definately take time to recover from it... As what a good friend would say..It is still better to be a close friend than to have none at all...
My apologies about any misunderstandings I had about you...Rumors are scary to that certain extent but I still feel the whole thing seems to be very wasted...
Don't worry though..my blessings are still with you to have moved on and found someone who would take good care of you...
Leave it at that..I will still hum my own heartbreak lullaby...=(
Thursday, January 01, 2009
New yr? '09
HAPPY NEW YEAR '09!!!!
Haha...A new year has come and it brings alot of new beginnings. Hopefully all the garbage from 2008 will get left behind and the new year can be more promising.
Well...I just read on Yahoo! that having new year resolutions is very Very bad according to a study they have done.
Quote"Mind urged people not to make resolutions focusing on physical imperfections -- such as attempting to lose weight -- because they create a negative self image and lead to feelings of low self-esteem, hopelessness and even mild depression."
Fine...In order not to fall into depression this year, I shall not make any resolutions...=D
Spent the eve wif rim ying xy and sarah at katong karaoke session..as usual rim doesn't and will never open his mouth for fear of the gold block inside falling out... After that sarah had to leave early so we went to xy to spend a quiet new yr...playing Risk LOL.. First time I had ever done this and it was strange..but fun all the same..then had a bridge marathon for like 4 hrs 0.0
So now marks the beginning of the new yr...I wish to say it went all good but sadly it really did not..Apart from losing drastically in Risk...I feel forgotten... =(
How can you forget something this important to me... Maybe ur phone batt is flat...or you are now somewhere enjoying yourself..At least I hope you remember and do not know how to contact me...otherwise...I really do not know whether to be angry at myself or you...Frustration just becoz I was a moment too late is something that I can never forgive myself for the rest of my life...I have made alot of bad choices in my life already... I carn't stand the regret of another one...
Haha...A new year has come and it brings alot of new beginnings. Hopefully all the garbage from 2008 will get left behind and the new year can be more promising.
Well...I just read on Yahoo! that having new year resolutions is very Very bad according to a study they have done.
Quote"Mind urged people not to make resolutions focusing on physical imperfections -- such as attempting to lose weight -- because they create a negative self image and lead to feelings of low self-esteem, hopelessness and even mild depression."
Fine...In order not to fall into depression this year, I shall not make any resolutions...=D
Spent the eve wif rim ying xy and sarah at katong karaoke session..as usual rim doesn't and will never open his mouth for fear of the gold block inside falling out... After that sarah had to leave early so we went to xy to spend a quiet new yr...playing Risk LOL.. First time I had ever done this and it was strange..but fun all the same..then had a bridge marathon for like 4 hrs 0.0
So now marks the beginning of the new yr...I wish to say it went all good but sadly it really did not..Apart from losing drastically in Risk...I feel forgotten... =(
How can you forget something this important to me... Maybe ur phone batt is flat...or you are now somewhere enjoying yourself..At least I hope you remember and do not know how to contact me...otherwise...I really do not know whether to be angry at myself or you...Frustration just becoz I was a moment too late is something that I can never forgive myself for the rest of my life...I have made alot of bad choices in my life already... I carn't stand the regret of another one...
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